Mom: Did you ever have a thing for her?

Me: Yeah.

Mom: Well was it…

Me: We are not talking about this.

Mom: Well…

Me: NO. This is not a topic open for discussion.

Mom: Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I picked up on that.

Me: Good night.

Congratu-fucking-lations, Mom. It has been 777 days since that dream blew up in my face and died but I’m glad you want to stop and point out that your spidey-senses were correct. It’s not like I care about her more than anything on the face of this planet or anything. You must be rocking some real keen senses there ma’am. In fact, you should probably be awarded a medal for your superior insight to that situation. It wasn’t like I was being obvious or anything.

If your senses were so damn keen, you would have known that is not something up for discussion…ever. Thanks for reminding me about that scar. It’s not like I’m reminded of it every time I see her or that one Def Leppard plays on my iPod. That’s exactly what I needed after a long day of scrubbing walls (which BTW were covered in some shit that must have been made from Space Shuttle heat tiles because it would not come of those fucking walls). Thanks Mom <3